STUPID teenagers with nothing better to do than hang around street corners looking at phones and spitting can now be moved on by police.
Normally sucking on each others perceived notions of enjoyment idiotic children as young as 12 all the way up to 19 - and normally this age range hang out together for some sick peverted reason - can be moved on by police.
PC Jacqui Dyer said: "To be honest we're just sick of them hanging around, pissing in plant pots, gobbing on grannies and shitting on paving slabs.
"They hang around with coke bottles filled with booze and scream at each other in some strange language I like to call 'iguzi'.
"Essentially it sounds like a sort of irate urchin painfully giving birth to a burp, backwards. It's most disturbing."
Those who can also be moved on include teenage boys who shout "oi" over and over again.
Teens who defy the new measures can be shot in the knees and told to sit on a bench while pensioners hit them in the face with their shopping from Somerfield.